Thank you for saying “yes, it’s shit”.

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I am the first person to think positively about anything, and I really am. I’m a total ‘cup half full’ kinda person and the older I get the more I realise it really is just the way I look at the world as opposed to any need to make it that way. BUT, sometimes I need to just have a moan, a cry and glug of wine and the friends that you can do that with, without judgement are just like gold dust.

This got me thinking about my friends and the different ‘stuff’ that makes each of those friendships so damn special to me. Those friends that want to fix everything and tell me it’s going to be OK – we all need those friends. Those that dance with me until there is literally no more dancing left to be had, make the pain of trying to be with two tiny people on two hours sleep totally worth it. And then there are those friends who will just hold my space, hear what I’m saying and  cheers to all those feelings you’re feeling (however irrational),  I cherish you.

It’s so easy to make assumptions about friends and so much of the work I’m doing – working with other women – is making me realise more than ever that making any kind of assumption, however slight, is just not OK. It’s not OK to assume your friend is coping because she has a full face of makeup, it’s not OK to assume they’re struggling because their child is screaming, it’s not OK to assume if she has ‘the perfect 2.4’ then everything is hunky dory and it’s equally not OK to assume that if she’s single at 45 then shes yearning for ‘more’.

I don’t want to assume anything, I want to be present in my friendships and in my work.  I want to ask the right questions, listen, celebrate or commiserate and just ‘be’ in the moment… no preconceptions, no assumptions, no judgement. Because I’ve realised that too often than not, life takes over, everyone is busy and these honest, raw moments are happening less and less.

So… to my friend who knows me inside out and back to front and can know exactly what I’m feeling even before I do and without muttering a word, thank you.

To my friend that dances with me until the end, thank you.

To my friend that says its shit and can offer a friendly face on those days that feel like groundhog day, thank you.

To my friend who takes an interest in genuinely knowing my children, thank you.

To my friend that always finds a way to help me find the why, thank you.

To my friend that will rummage to the bottom of her wardrobe to find me a dress because she can see I just want to ‘feel nice’, thank you.

To my friend who gets me safely to my train home because I had one too many vinos being out of the house and feeling like me, thank you.

To my friend who takes the moment to tell me I’m fucking awesome, thank you.

And to all those wonderful women and families who I have the privilege of working with and learning from and who genuinely inspire me each and every day, thank you.

So much sparkle is found in each and every one of these moments when real connections are made. Some say ‘girl gang’, some say ‘tribe’… I have no idea what I call you crazy lot, but I love you dearly and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

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